Copyright © 1996,1998 by Cynthia Teeters. All rights reserved.

Doesn't it feel that waiting is an activity that is almost impossible to do?

There's this very real sense of not being in control, of having just too much anticipation, and having to constantly fight all the worry!

While you may not make the clock move faster, the waiting time can present you an opportunity to reflect on issues and challenges unique to adoption. If you haven't already developed an extensive library, now is a good time. If you have the books but haven't read them all, sit down with your favorite beverage and get reading. If you've done your reading, share your insights with others.

Any effort you make a t this time in learning your prospective child's language (no matter what the child's age) will be rewarded. Your country hosts will be impressed and honored if you arrive knowing some phrases and their correct pronunciation. Your knowing some kiddie-speak is especially valuable for toddlers and older children helping them with the transition to a new family, new culture and new language. The demands on our children to adjust are huge and the frustrations can show in all sorts of acting-out behavior. It is a wonderful gift we give if we can help them communicate in their first months in our home.

Also, don't forget to take the oppotunity to practice your parenting skills. Offer to babysit other children. If you are adopting an older child, consider volunteering to be a mentor or working with children from disadvantaged backgrounds. If you are able to spend time with children observe their behavior and do your own hands-on research on child development.

Explore your child-care options a nd make plans. Additionally, explore early intervention for learning disabilities and why it is so strongly suggested for post-institutionalized children - even for the youngest of babies. If the child is school-age, contact the school and make your concerns known. Discuss with the school a) in what grade the child should be placed and b) getting immediate evaluations for learning disabilities. Be warned, though, that you may meet resistance from school personnel, especially at the school district level. You may have better luck if you are able to speak with a special education teacher or school psychologist. If you feel that your concerns are not being accepted by the school become knowledgeable of federal laws concerning learning disabilities and seek out local support.

Now, before new panic sets in about all that must be accomplished during the waiting period, sit back and relax. If you are here reading this article and feeling uneasy about the demands and challenges, remember that parenting is not a one-time act; it is a process. It is a process full of trial and error and very rarely do we find that we are not given a second chance to do better.

You'll do just fine!